cursive

In Seriousness
I ask
Who

Are these letters,
strung up light-like
(life-less)

A face that's not mine
     Un-pink
     Unwashed
     and epileptic

Sugar that undissolves
solidifies into crunches
under the tongue of an ancient warrior
Goddess
(with a sword between her legs)

A stone
with the ability to entertain
the plausibility
of my own finger's inability
to form a Form

To re-present a me that IS me
God-like
un-happy
in an un-reasonable instant

unrelated, the pieces
that ooooooze out
backwards
onto these pages.

these letters--
how can they?
Be anything from me and the slightly lilting loneliness
that leans towards a time
I can't remember
when I was a little more me
 and a little less of
--?--

In all seriousness
I've spent all of this life
asking

Pickpocketed

When
Did it become
Right [as in correct] to hate
Me to not hate me?
Every cell inside me heard it:
Stop
Stop feeling sorry for
Sorry for
Your goddamned self
But first
First they heard first:
You're not enough--you are never enough
You were never enough
And you take up
Too
Much
Goddamned s p a c e

               In outer space
               I'm
               A
               Speck

I don't feel
Sorry
For my circum[ambulated]
Stances

But for the girl
Who tries hard to be perfect;
Spiritually
Nihilistically

Hated
For not having the right hair, the right body with the
Stick Figure Legs

And I hate that girl because my --ommy and my --addy
    --old me to
Much much much
And I'm sorry
To have these rocks of hate
Thrown at me
From my own goddamned

Pockets

Mimiow

I
am a copycat
a copy
 of a cat

I see your
face and say
I want a face
like that
and so !
I construct
a face from
scratch
my ingredients
are memories
and like all
my memories
they fail
into a pattern
that makes little
sense beside
the face that was
yours

I'm a copy

of a cat

Let The Moon Speak

My rings whisper
into the skin on
my fingers
into the juice
that swims inside me
telling stories
of a night at the
feet of Cyndi
Lauper And a bear
on one knee
a blue diamond
     held out
to me
I laughed then
I giggled as he

waited

why doesn't he
put
it on my finger, oh!
because I haven't
said

yes

I have said only
laughter
and months later
when the story
of a new ring begins
I said
crying things
under red
finger waves and
a veil with white tiger

ears

that said
I
I will listen to you I
     I will listen
so please?
please be silly

Lucky Containter

I am a container
Put your Luck
inside me
so I
Can use it drop
By
Drop
From my eyes and mouth
On the keys
Of the machines that will say
JACKPOT
You've won a new beginning
Because you put
All
That was inside you
On a bet you could only lose
          But you didn't.

Other Peoples' Clarity

Do I annoy you?
I annoy me
     Tearing at my life
     shredding evidence of happy times
     shredding evidence of love
     shredding evidence of who I've been
falling
     away from memories
as things that I have owned
fall
away from me
     to own me, now
     --
     to tear at my brain in the pre-dawn dark
     to tear out terrors and terry-cloth
robes
that held me, Holy
then
and now damp
Crumpled
with me inside crumpling up
crumpling up
      crumpling up
          crumpling up

Do I
     get under your skin?
When I'm unhappy in my own
Do I
     annoy you?
Do I/DoI/Do I?

     Tell me again what you said back then
NO - - I'll tell you, word for word
what you said
because
you said it s o  s l o w l y
and again and again
you said "You Must" you said "YOU MUST"
You said I must make a plan
well
my plan fell apart because
     I used only
the tools
     I had available
to me
     and that
          and THAT
annoys me.